Essays

Beheadings, Plums, and the Spring I Flirted With Madness

Looking At Other Men's Large Bananas

Spring Cleaning à la Nicholas Sparks

Losing My Daughters to a Lack of White Rice

Let’s Kidnap that Ginger Jerk Already!

I am protective of what my daughters get exposed to because I want to save them years of unnecessary night terrors, especially because they both have very active imaginations, just like I did when I was a kid.

All the Things You Think You Would’ve Done During a Jewelry Heist

At 13, I Almost Got Expelled from Catholic School

The Ocean and the Sun Are Not Out to Kill You

My Mom Could Convince You My Girly Rollerblades Were Unisex